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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23683351">The Case of Kuroo Tetsurou: Uni Student and Housewife Extraordinaire</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/random_crow_of_karasuno/pseuds/random_crow_of_karasuno'>random_crow_of_karasuno</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Attempt at Humor, CONTAINS POST TIME SKIP MANGA SPOILERS, Canon Compliant, Edit: since the manga finished it has now changed to canon divergent, Fluff, Homophobia, Kenmas a rich boi, M/M, You Have Been Warned, at the time of writing its CC but with new chapters it could change to canon divergent, it was meant to be a humor fic but my fingers slipped and, just kinda happened sorry</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 16:28:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,322</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23683351</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/random_crow_of_karasuno/pseuds/random_crow_of_karasuno</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>—POST TIME SKIP MANGA SPOILERS—<br/>YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED </p><p>With Kenma raking in the big bucks, Kuroo is left to balance university and keeping their apartment clean.<br/>—<br/>Since Kenma abhorred housekeeping, Kuroo had essentially become a housewife. The full deal, Kuroo cooked all their meals, did the laundry and cleaned everything from window sills to the stovetop, all while maintaining a 4.0 GPA, even Kenma thought it was impressive.<br/>—<br/>Got the housewife idea from a vid if I can find their account I’ll mention them</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, metions of BokuAka</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>94</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Case of Kuroo Tetsurou: Uni Student and Housewife Extraordinaire</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>The whereabouts of Kuroo: he is Kenmas housewife and until canon proves me either right or otherwise you can’t change my mind. </p><p>At the time of writing this it’s technically canon compliant, since post time skip Kuroo hasn’t been revealed but, when we do find out I’ll probably have to change it 😪</p><p>I’ll apologize in advance in case it’s trash oof</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Kuro!” </p><p> </p><p>Kenma took a break from working through a new level on his XBOX to call for his boyfriend. He was planning a tutorial for this week's video, and he needed to figure out how to get past this damn boss who just. Wouldn’t. Die. </p><p> </p><p>He set his controller down on the couch as Kuroo came into the game room, he had a bandana wrapped around his mouth, and yellow gloves under his arm indicating he’d been cleaning. What is it this time?” he asked in an exasperated tone. Kenma couldn’t blame him, it was the fifth time he’d called for him in the last hour. Sure, not every time had been vital, but he’d needed his favorite mochi and if he didn’t want to leave the house then Kuroo would have to go buy it, and that’s that. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m hungry” </p><p> </p><p>Kuroo gave him a blank stare “I already brought you a sandwich, mochi, two drinks and a box of pocky, I’m not bringing you anything else”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m hungry” he repeated.</p><p> </p><p>Kuroo rubbed at his temples “We are having dinner in less than an hour, you gremlin, you're not going to ruin your appetite.”</p><p> </p><p>In response Kenma gave him a pouty frown that he knew could melt any annoyance or anger sent his way.</p><p> </p><p>Kuroo dropped his hand and pulled out a small pack of cookies from his pocket and tossed it over to him.</p><p> </p><p><em> Haha weak </em> Kenma smiled slightly at his speedy success.</p><p> </p><p>“I made katsudon today, please tell me you’re gonna have room.”</p><p> </p><p>Kenma nodded slightly and went back to attacking his cookies. As Kuroo left he couldn’t help but think how domestic they’d become. His YouTube channel had grown steadily but surely until he’d been able to earn enough to support him and Kuroo, after a few years he had more money than he could ever need, hell he'd even sponsored Shouyou’s volleyball team. While he raked in the dough, Kuroo had continued with his studies, Kenma himself was still studying hoping to bachelor’s degree in computer design, but Kuroo had begun his masters in chemical engineering, like the nerd he was. The program was hard but Kenma had no doubt in his mind that Kuroo was smart enough to do it.</p><p> </p><p>Between Kenma’s YouTube money and studying which was essentially a full time job, Kuroo didn’t need to work. Which meant that if he wasn’t at university he was at home, so Kenma could pester him as much as he pleased. </p><p> </p><p>Since Kenma abhorred housekeeping, Kuroo had essentially become a housewife. The full deal, Kuroo cooked all their meals, did the laundry and cleaned everything from windows sills to the stovetop, all while maintaining a 4.0 GPA, even Kenma thought it was impressive. </p><p> </p><p>He decided to clear his mind from the game for a while and stretch his legs. He ran his fingers through his too long hair, and pulled it back into a small loose bun at the base of his neck. He wandered over to the kitchen where Kuroo was frying tonkatsu. It smelled delicious, he’d honestly improved his cooking, especially over the last months.</p><p> </p><p> Kenma had tried cooking exactly once, some omurice to surprise Kuroo after a particularly long day at uni and he’d almost burned down the kitchen after getting distracted with his phone. Safe to say he no longer cooked. Even Kuroo had taken roughly a year to get to know his way around the kitchen, in the first few months of them living together Kuroo had his fair share of horrible and burnt dishes.</p><p> </p><p>“You gonna help, or are you just going to stand there?” Kenma jumped slightly at Kuroo’s voice, not realizing he’d been seen. Kenma padded into the kitchen in his bare feet and took out rice from it’s beeping cooker.</p><p> </p><p> “Are we still up for watching the MSBY Jackals” Kuroo said, absentmindedly pushing the frying pork around the pan.</p><p> </p><p>“Obviously” Kenma knew Hinata was going against the Alders, he wondered how he’d handle Kageyama.</p><p> </p><p>“Bokuto’s gonna kick ass” Kuroo said with a smirk “Akaashi told me he’s coming to watch him play again. I swear, after the last time Bokuto won, they were <em> this </em> close to making out in front of the cameras.” accentuating the ‘this’ with a pinch of his fingers.</p><p> </p><p>Kenma allowed himself a smirk over the memory of Bokuto draping himself all over his more reserved fiancé on live television. </p><p> </p><p>Not that many people knew his friends were engaged, people were still assholes about it and they had to keep on the down low. He and Kuroos parents were still under the impression that they were just roommates and nothing more. It irked him something awful that they, both Bokuto, Akaashi and them couldn’t be as casual with their relationships as a straight couple would. On more than one occasion they’d gotten weird looks for holding hands, the judgmental stares always pressured Kenma to take his hand back, stuff it in his pocket and duck his head, if not for him then for Kuro, people judging him was nothing new but he’d be damned if he let them. The last thing they wanted to do was deal with homophobic shits. </p><p> </p><p>Kuroo apparently had picked up on his downward thought spiral because Kuroo wrapped an arm around him and pecked him on the head, then wandered over to set the table. His heart did stupid little somersaults, <em> this is pathetic. </em>They’d been together for God knows how long, why was he still getting butterflies over him like a high school girl. </p><p> </p><p>His second thought </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> He’s worth it  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Kuro’s worth it, he makes it worth having dealing with the snide comments and disapproving glares. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Kenma come sit dinner’s ready” </p><p> </p><p>“You are literally a housewife at this point” Kenma says, sitting down</p><p> </p><p>Kuroo chucked at that “Well I try my best besides I don’t see you cleaning the house” Kenma makes a face at the thought of him even attempting to scrub the toilet, his expression must have been funny because Kuroo laughs.</p><p> </p><p>After dinner they migrate to the couch and start streaming the Jackals volleyball game. Good luck to Shouyou, and out of spite he even wished Bokuto luck just because he never really liked Kageyama much, he was always way too intense.</p><p> </p><p> They were curled up in their usual position, Kuroo reclining back, legs out in a diamond position and Kenma in his lap, head against Kuroo’s chest. The taller one's hands casually rested around Kenma’s waist while Kenma held the screen up for them both to see. </p><p> </p><p>The game started and the players were introduced </p><p> </p><p>He spared a side glance upwards where he could see Kuroo’ profile from below, messy black hair with that annoying fringe, (Though he wasn’t one to talk about bad hair, he was the walking definition of a bad bleach job, and he knew it.) his straight nose and the curve of his cheekbone, all so familiar to him.</p><p> </p><p>He absentmindedly noted, on the screen that the Black Jackals had scored the first point of the game. But he still needed to get Kuroo back for that kiss on the head, which was adorable but infuriating all the same. So he pushed himself up a bit and pecked Kuro on the cheek.</p><p> </p><p>A faint blush appeared on his partners cheeks, and Kuroo looked down at him with a soft smile full of adoration and other emotions he couldn’t pin down. He'd only seen that smile on special occasions, their first time together, Kuroo inside him, both of them sweaty but bodies locked together in a tangled mess or when they moved in together, in pure happiness, finally free from having to sneak around and worrying about being caught.</p><p> </p><p>Japan’s marriage laws be damned, this was the man he was going to spend the rest of his life with.</p><p> </p><p>Kuroo would just have to deal with being a housewife. Or househusband, whatever.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Haha I meant this to be a humor fic but homophobia just kinda happened sorry, </p><p>*reads disgustingly sappy ending I wrote at 3 AM* </p><p>I swear this was meant to be a humor fic what have I done </p><p>If anyone even reads this shit thank you for reading &lt;33 you are appreciated</p></blockquote></div></div>
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